


just the way you are

by eliottsmec



Category: SKAM (France)
Genre: Bipolar Disorder, Communication, Established Relationship, Fluff, M/M, Mentions of Lola Lecomte, mentions of Lucille
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-14
Updated: 2020-06-14
Packaged: 2021-03-04 00:40:23
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,311
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24724678
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/eliottsmec/pseuds/eliottsmec
Summary: A conversation between Lucas and Eliott that we would desperately like to see.
Relationships: Eliott Demaury/Lucas Lallemant
Comments: 16
Kudos: 169





	just the way you are

**Author's Note:**

> hello, i was listening to my sad playlist and started imagining this so i wrote it down
> 
> healthy communication in a skamfr season? i would like to see it

Lucas came back inside after slamming the door on Lola. Once he stepped into the living room, Eliott looked up at him from the couch. He could tell it was Lola at the door based on the screaming match he just heard, but he couldn’t bring himself to say anything to Lucas. 

Lucas let out a deep sigh and sat down beside Eliott, cuddling into him. Eliott just wrapped his arms around Lucas, letting the both of them process what just happened in silence. They still haven’t properly talked about what happened on Friday night. Eliott could tell that Lucas was angry, but he hasn’t yelled at him or anything. He just brought him back home to let him sleep it off and took care of him, all without saying one word. Eliott figured it was finally time to talk.

“Lucas…,” Eliott started. 

“Eliott, I didn’t want to push you, but I have never seen you like that and it really scared me. What happened that night?”

Eliott let his fingers graze along Lucas’ spine as he thought about what to say. He could brush it off and say he just fucked up and made a bad choice, but it was more than that. And Lucas deserved to know the truth and how he was really feeling. 

“When I got there that night, Lola was already really gone. I knew it was dangerous to leave her there so I tried to get her to come with me, but she refused to. She said that people are always waiting for her to fuck up and she was tired of it. She didn’t need a babysitter, she just wanted a friend, and fuck Lucas, in that moment I knew exactly how she felt. Even though I haven’t felt that way in a long time, I know what it feels like when people are just waiting for you to mess up. I’ve felt that way since I found out I had bipolar, and Lucille and my parents constantly made me feel like I had to act a certain way or else I was manic and crazy. It’s such a fucked up feeling.”

Lucas tightened his grip on Eliott. He asked in a quiet voice, “do you think I treat you like that?”

Lucas felt Eliott’s chest rise up and down underneath him. “I know deep down that you don’t think of me that way,” Eliott said after a moment, “but it’s so hard to let it go after feeling like that for so long. I thought I was doing better, but I think I was just pushing it away without really facing it. Remember when we first talked about this after I lashed out at you when I was down?” Lucas lifted his head from Eliott’s chest to nod at him.

“I told you that being with me wasn’t going to be perfect and there would be many ugly moments. And you said that you weren’t perfect either and we’ll figure it out minute by minute.” He smiled softly, making Lucas also produce a smile as he remembered the conversation.

“Hearing that from you was amazing, and it was everything I needed at that moment. But I realized now that I haven’t even given you the opportunity to show me that you’ll still be there. I’ve been going to Urbex parties without telling you, and I told myself it was because I didn’t want to stress you out. I’m realizing now that it’s because I was scared of what you would say. And I’m so sorry. I’m sorry if that makes you think I don’t trust you, because I do.” Tears start to well up in Eliott’s eyes. “But sometimes, it’s just really hard to let go of that feeling that I just can’t be normal like everyone wants me to be. And that’s what I felt like on Friday.”

Lucas reached out to brush a fallen tear off of Eliott’s cheek and brought him closer to rest their foreheads together. 

“Listen to me Eliott Demaury,” Lucas whispered. “I love you so much. Every part of you. There is no wrong way to be when you are just being yourself. I know how Lucille made you feel in the past, and I never want you to feel like that again. Not with me. You’re it for me, okay?

“You don’t have to hide parts of yourself or be afraid of messing up or worry about what I’ll think. Even if you do feel like you messed up, you could never get rid of me, okay? I’m a stubborn stain that is never going away, so good luck with that.” Eliott let out a sweet laugh at that. 

Lucas smiled, “but seriously. You’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me and I am so sorry if I ever made you feel like you can’t be yourself around me.” Eliott started to disagree, but Lucas held his ground. “I know I worry about you and when I get like that, I can be overbearing and protective. I didn’t realize how that could make you feel like you had to walk around eggshells around me, and I really am sorry for that.”

Eliott gave Lucas a small kiss on his cheek as a thank you, and Lucas wrapped his arms around Eliott’s neck.

“And I am sorry about Friday, I know it was reckless and I shouldn’t be drinking on my meds. You’re allowed to be angry at me for it,” Eliott said with regret. 

“I am not mad at you. I know why you stayed with Lola but I’m just pissed off at the dangerous situation you were in. To be honest, I don’t know how I feel about her and the situations she ends up in,” Lucas said unsurely.

“Lola - she’s just a kid. I was right where she was when I was her age and I can’t bear to see someone else going through that alone.” Eliott takes Lucas’ hand into his own. “I know you think she’s a bad influence on me, but Lucas, I can’t apologize for being there for her. My life would have been so different if I had someone like me growing up that I could connect with when I felt at my lowest. 

“But…” Eliott paused, “I do think I got caught up in wanting to help her without realizing that I can’t always fix everything and prevent her from making mistakes.” Lucas focused on playing with Eliott’s fingers.

“I don’t know if I can ever completely trust her like you do, but that’s also one thing I love about you. You see the good in everyone and you love others so deeply. I just never want to see anyone take advantage of that,” Lucas said as he turned his attention back to Eliott. “But I do realize that it’s important for you to support her. Just please remember to take care of yourself while you do that, okay? Set some boundaries with her and talk to me if you feel overwhelmed.”

“Boundaries? And healthy communication? Who are you and what have you done with my boyfriend, you imposter,” Eliott gasped as he pushed Lucas away.

“Shut up,” Lucas whines, “maybe I read some stuff online yesterday while you were sleeping, so what!” Eliott laughed as Lucas pulled him closer.

“Okay, okay, I’m sorry for teasing. But you’re right, I do think I need to do that. Thanks for reminding me.” Eliott caressed Lucas’ chin with his thumb. “And I think I’ll reach out to my therapist too and set up an earlier appointment.”

“That sounds like a good plan,” Lucas smiled. “Thank you for being honest with me today.”

“And thank you for listening and being there for me. I love you.” Eliott gave Lucas a soft kiss that Lucas smiled into. 

“I love you too.”

**Author's Note:**

> this was purely self-indulgent and i have never written before so i hope you liked it, bye now


End file.
